STRUGGLES IN BANGKOK
In my three years in the renewal, I’ve encountered difficult struggles in my SFC life. I always feel resentment whenever I see gay couples here in Bangkok. I used to feel pity for myself or even deprived of my own happiness. I always end up going to the places where I can be weak and most of the time, I’d end up sinning. At times I would find myself praying in tears, asking God for forgiveness, but there are other moments when I go on with my day without praying at all.
Despite my stubbornness, God still chose me to testify. He chose me to bring out the truth. The truth continues to set me free and He heals me as I continue to follow His will for me.
For two years now, I have been free from the sin of having sexual relationships with men. I am abide to avoid those places by not being alone. I’ve passed so may good opportunities to be attracted sexuality, though each time I avoid doing it, it is painful and frustrating. But whenever I ask God to hold me tight, to comfort me and take control of me, tears fall and I feel the happiness inside. Since then, I believe that God has placed me in His heart to love and to hold forever.
“Amen, amen, I say to you, we speak of what we know and we testify to what we have seen..” John 3:11